


king of my dick: a tort romance

by anadiil



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Daddy Kink, F/M, Furry, Hot, M/M, Multi, and more code words for boner because they make me piss myself thanks shat for sending me them, incest is the best zest bbs, its necrophilia reggie, peepee teepee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24952423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anadiil/pseuds/anadiil
Summary: i’m so sorry val pressured me into finishing this they’re holding me hostage
Relationships: Agatha/Kiko, Agatha/Sophie/Benedict (The School for Good and Evil), Hort/Ravan (The School for Good and Evil), Hort/Tedros (The School for Good and Evil), Japeth/Millicent (The School for Good and Evil), Tedros/Kei, evie/saudi arabian hacker/ajubaju
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

Tedros strode through the grassy field, watching the two girls on horses strolling down the dirt path. Agatha, on a horse as ugly as her, was cackling like a witch whereas the blonde bombshell next to her was peng, but tedros still hated her. he didn’t know why, but tedros felt his pp tingle probably thinking of sophie’s old fox form,. Shrugging away his sexual frustration, he turned away to see Hort staring too. Tedros felt his face go hot, and looked down at himself. No doubt Hort had seen that too. He looked back to Hort, who was licking his lips and looking at his horizontal exclamation point. Tedros turned around in a rush to hide his bonosaurus.He heard his mother calling from the house for dinner so he ran away from Hort because he was scaring him by staring like a nonce at his peepee teepee.

Tedros found himself not at all hungry when his mother placed a huge plate of food in front of him. There was only one thing he was craving right now: Hort. He knew he shouldn’t but he couldn't stop thinking about Hort on top of him, his bulging muscles pressed against his own, his mouth trailing down his stomach to his- “Are you not hungry dear?” Guinevere asked.  
“Uh, not really mother. Sorry.” He stood, trying to hide how flustered he was. “I- uh, I need to get some air. Excuse me.”

Tedros raked his hands through his hair and exhaled into the night air. Why was he thinking this about Hort? He’d always hated him - right? Or was it just pent up sexual frustration, a lust he’d tried to conceal? The money he’d give to have him on top of him-  
“Are you ok Tedros?” Agatha asked from behind him. For fucks sake, he thought, not this ugly whore. Greasy slag.   
“I’m fine.” he said bluntly.  
“No need to be so pissy babes x.”  
“Fuck off u slag! go kiss sophie’s plastic arse i don’t want to deal wiv u.”  
“W-w-w-what??? What do you mean Tedros? Turn around and look at me!”  
Tedros turned around, revealing the pinocchio in his pants. Agatha’s eyes immediately darted to it, a look of utter shock on her face. “what the fuck tedros.”  
“I’m sorry agatha i’m breaking up with you.”  
“Tedros?!!?.!! Why”   
“I have feelings for some1 else.”  
“Who??? Sophie!!!”  
“no not sophie you greasy fuck someone else.”  
“tell me who!”  
“no! besides i saw how you looked at that horse benedict. you should be with him if he makes you happy.”  
“if you’re ditching me to be with sophie i will shank yo-”  
“i’m a bye secks you al.”  
“what?”  
“i like men too u dipshit.”  
That left agatha speechless, her mouth agape. She eventually turned on her heel and stormed back to the house(fucking homophobe we do not stan!). Tedros went to the stream, planning on having a wank to thoughts of hort.

Hort was helping Guinevere clean the dishes when Agatha stomped into the house and slammed her bedroom door behind her. He rolled his eyes, he never liked her anyway. and you could smell the grease from her hair it smelt like the local chip shop. Still, he was feeling particularly curious so strolled outside to where he saw Tedros sat by the small stream at the bottom of the hill. Walking towards him, he stood over Tedros.  
“Trouble in paradise?” Tedros looked up at him, his face slightly flushed.  
“I broke up with Agatha.”   
“it was going to happen at some point” hort chuckled.  
“what do you mean?” tedros mumbled.  
“well she’s obviously interested in benedict and you’re gay right?”  
“h-how did you know?” Hort didn’t reply, just held out a hand to the blonde male to help him up. Tedros took his hand and hort pulled him up. Gods, his hands were warm. And soft. “Thanks.” Tedros said quietly, his face like a tomato now.  
“Why are you acting so nervous?”  
“i-uh- i’m not, am i?” Hort smirked, and took a step towards him.  
“do i make you nervous?” he said in a sultry voice.  
“Hort-“ he said but didn’t stop him as Hort grabbed his waist and pulled him closer so their noses were almost touching.   
“You like that don’t you?” Hort knew the answer when he felt Tedros’ manhood press into him. Giving in to the tension, Hort slid a hand around Tedros’ neck and pulled him into a hungry kiss, tongue pressing onto his lips until he opened for him. Tedros let out a small groan, which turned hort on even more. This was amazing, he thought. He had the perfect blonde prince tied on a leash. Figuratively at the moment, but he knew if he got his hands on some rope he wouldn’t hold himself back. Hort ran his hands through his golden locks, pulling at his hair slightly causing Tedros to let out a loud moan. Hort pulled away.   
“Why did you stop?” Tedros asked, eyes burning with passion.  
“i want to make you work for it.”  
“but-“ tedros started.  
“ssh. i make the rules.”  
“rules?”  
“yes, the rules. the first rule: you call me daddy at all times.” hort commanded.  
“ok.”  
“ok…?”  
“ok daddy.”  
“perfect.”

Tedros lay awake in his room, with the bed to himself seeing as him and Agatha broke up so it would be a bit awks. He wasn’t surprised when he saw her sleeping in the stables with Benedict like the greasy slag she is.   
Tedros had his own problems now though. Not like Hort was a problem however. Tedros didn’t understand how he had lived so long without having noticed how infatuated he really was with Hort. Gods, just thinking about him made him excited. And speak of the cheeky devil! There was a knock at the door to tedros’ room before it being opened, and the absolute unit that is Hort stood in the doorway. “Can’t sleep?” Hort asked, his voice low and sensual.  
“No, i cant daddy.” Tedros admitted  
“Too busy thinking of me?” Hort winked.  
“i-” tedros started, face red hot  
“i’m only teasing my little duckling.”  
Then hort grabbed his hand and whispered in his ear “let’s go have some fun in the barn.” and with that he pulled out some thick rope and a collar. Tedros frowned, the collar bringing up past trauma from his first year when him and Sophie would have furry sex in the blue forest. But the look of the deep brown leather enticed him, and he couldn’t help but imagine Hort putting it around his neck.  
“okay” tedros said excitedly  
“okay…?”  
“okay daddy😜”  
“good boy. now, i’m going to need you to do a favour for daddy.”  
“anything!”  
hort dropped his voice so it was even quieter and inches close to tedros’ ear.  
“can you still remember how to mogrify into a fox?”  
tedros let out a gasp, his low voice sending sensualsations throughout his body. how did hort know about that-  
“i’ve been watching you for a long time, my sweet. i have loved you since the day i set my eyes on you. even though it was painful to watch fox-sophie fucking you in the blue forest and not me, i found it very pleasurable.” he murmured, looking down at tedros’ raging salmon.

When Sophie woke up to voices in the night, the last thing she expected to see when she looked out the window was hort with a particular blue fox on a leash. She’d recognise that luscious ocean-marine fur anywhere - it was Tedros, the man who had rid her of her innocence like the cheeky bastard he was. Her face grew hot - for the past two years since those nights in the blue forest she dreamed of his fox-form almost every night. she followed, tip toeing in her silk slippers and mogrifying into her preferred form - a pink fox. she was ashamed of this side of her, for the woods were furryphobic but when she was on all fours  
she was in her element. she approached the barn and could here shrieks of a fox and… some other animal???????? sophie was very curious. the growls sounded familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. she treaded past the horses, one of them looking very greasy lying on top of another horse, and into the darkness of the barn. and there, making love in the haybales, were blue fox tedros and man wolf hort!  
👁👄👁, sophie thought. at least that’s where she recognised the grunts from. it was horts man wolf. she remembered when him and ravan would do the naughty naughty in the corridors at school. hort even learned to grow multiple pps to serve to ravans multiple heads. it was a riveting expereince to watch, sophie admitted. eh knee waiz sophie’s tail shivered at the scene it was so hot 🥵 

can you tell i’m trying to think how to make this worse

oh em gee i got it

sophie heard some strange scuffling noises coming from behind her. she walked over still in her fox form and there saw two horses fucking. one of them was benedict, agathas horse, and the other she didn’t recognise. it was black, and greasy, and had ugly ass bug eyes. it was...agatha??!)??! she didn’t know if it was her animal instincts, but it was kind of hot. like any sane person she joined in and they had a sexy furry incest three way but they didn’t know they were sisters so it’s all okay

★·.·´¯`·.·★ 🎀 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹 🎀 ★·.·`¯´·.·★


	2. KOMD2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> four point but rewritten to be better  
> PLS DONT READ IF UR A WHOLE ASS CHILD THANKS

kiko’s body hung limp from the scim noose, cosplaying miss keisha. agatha had to give her credit for the effort, she really went and snapped her neck and everything! go off sis you snapped😌👏✨, agatha thought, until she realised all the other skanks at four point had gone silent and were watching like oh. 

that’s when agatha thought maybe kiko was deadass dead and she hadn’t saved her in time because of her clunky ass wannabe alt girl shoes were so heavy she was as slow as liv. the snake turned to agatha, anticipating the sheer horror on her face at her friend being brutally murdered in front of her— but no, instead there was a look of pure joy painted there. you see, agatha was a jughead kinnie so was a necrophiliac because she was NOT like other girls, and there was nothing she wanted more than being in contact with a freshly dead body. earlier, she had been filled with such jealousy when the coven fucked chaddick’s corpse on the shores of avalon. now it was her turn.

agatha felt such strong arousal, one she had only ever felt when fucking the dead bodies she had graverobbed from graves hill or before their second year when her and sophie fucked like everyday. fuck it, she thought, and just started having a wank to kikos limp body in front of her. the onlookers of the scene gasped, this moment most likely going to be the headline in every tabloid. she didn’t care though - this was everything she wanted in life. all she needed was a dead body and herself and—oof! 😾😾😾the snake tackled her to the floor and hissed in her ear,  
“stop it, greasy slag! you’re making a mockery out of my evil doing!!!” boy was he mad! agatha kept going though, almost reaching her climax before— uh oh! she came everywhere :/ mega yikes! her fluids had seemingly temporarily blinded the snake and he Could Not See. agatha used this chance to grab down kiko’s body while everyone was distracted by the hot lesbians™️ and their rare freckled deer 🦌 who were pew pewing the gallows with fire arrows. there were screams and shouts all over, so agatha got down to business with kiko.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

tedros wiped kei’s sticky man juice off his face, getting up off his knees after sucking off the guard. the dungeons weren’t the best location for a (k)night shag but it had to do because he didn’t want any of the servants snitching because snitches get aids! in fact, tedros let himself be fucked by just about any male he layed his eyes on because agathas pegging game just didn’t suffice. if he admitted it, there was only one man in his life: hort.  
“fuck teddy weddy that was so good where did you learn to suck dick that well?” kei asked before tedros started to leave.  
“merlin was the greatest teacher i ever had.” tedros replied, reminiscing on his wonderful childhood. his wrists still hurt from last night in the celestium, though. he wasn’t complaining - now that greasy ass bitch face shit eating skank agatha was off on her stupid quest with the blonde headed bimbo sophie, he had merlin all to himself (well, he did share him with lancelot, king arthur’s ghost, tedros’s pet beetle and many more but read fifty shades of mergatha for the full list). kei looked mesmerised, still showing off his horizontal exclamation point like a bratz doll on a runway.  
“look tedros, i like you and all, but i have a boyfriend.” kei said. tedros went ❓👄❓, and kei explained he was dating rhian even though tedros isn’t supposed to know who that is yet but he will be useful to the story later. (side note was he really like all he did was eat sophie out in a carriage?). “however apparently there’s a big scrap happening at four point right now so let’s just pop over there for sake of the plot.”  
ok so that’s what they did 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ yuh ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

japeth was half way through being pegged by millicent when he heard the roar of a mufasa kinnie over the crowd. he wasn’t disappointed that they had to finish early as it was quite uncomfortable and his ass was literally ripped open from her antlers (did i forget to mention she was still in deer form) and japeth probably had haemorrhoids now. it didn’t matter to him doe because he already had chlamydia from fucking aric in the bins outside femboy hooters. and also from having a threeway with agatha and sophie before he brought them here. he’d rate it a solid 4.5/10, it would have been better if the two girls had stopped wanking each other off the whole time but whatever. and also the fact that he was gay but like straight pride no labels. ANYWAYS back to the plot line there was some furry ritual happening he could hear someone rawr xDing in the distance and it turned out that furry was rhian, his own brother pretending to save everyone’s ass for clout 

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ double yuh ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

hort had just finished tightening the scim-rope around his boyfriend, despite the chaos ensuing elsewhere, when he heard footsteps behind him. he looked up from where he was tying up ravan and over his shoulder. there stood tedros, golden ringlets spun like pure gold spilling from his head, bright cerulean sapphire orbs gazing down at him. his skin looked soft to the touch, as if he had been applying nourishing coconut body butter into every crevice and pore multiple times a day. everything about him was just so… mesmerising. tantalising. delicious. 

he would always remember that week on the moors with tedros, with their daily picnics and horse rides and making apple strudel in the evenings. and to top it all off, them fucking in the barn every night— hort as a manwolf, and tedros as a fox.

after that week though, everything had gone to shit. tedros and agatha got back together and hort was left in the dust. but hort was happy with ravan. and he assumed tedros was happy with agatha. but that longing he could sense in tedros’s eyes now, that deep yearning— well, hort would do anything to feel his lips against tedros’s again.  
“uh, hort?” ravan said, “what’s wrong? tedros what are you doing here you blond freak?” hort was about to reply with a lie, but ravan insulting tedros was crossing a line.  
“don’t you dare speak to him like that.” hort growled, his saliva dripping onto ravan’s face. and with that, he got up and approached tedros. he could see tears forming at tedros’s eyes.  
“oh tedros!” hort gushed, pulling him into a warm embrace, “i missed you my sugar cookie bun buns.”  
tedros weeped into his chest, whimpering “i missed you s-s-so much daddy. pwease never ever leave me again🥺👉👈”  
“ssh, now now my sweet testosterone, i’m here.” and with that, hort pulled tedros into a long-awaited kiss, before pulling him behind a tree, fucking for 69  
years 😄 and leaving ravan tied up on the burning gallows :/ soz ravan its just natural selection

HAHA KIDDING HE DIDNT DIE HE SURVIVED

that day, tedros learned one thing — he would never leave hort’s side again. this was everything he wanted, right here, as hort’s man wolf fucked him against a tree whilst merlin and tedros’s beetle, tedros the second, returned from the celestium and saved the entire woods from crumbling. hort was everything he ever wanted and more. he was the light of his life, the fire of his loins, and most importantly:

𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓯 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓭𝓲𝓬𝓴

bonus scene! for elites only

kiko opened her eyes to see she was sat in a dingy ass crusty building with only candles for lighting due to the power being shut off. there was a mack z lookalike pole-dancing on a mouldy stage along with her saudi arabian mafia hacker boyfriend, although there was no audience because they were so shit. except for ajubaju, who was watching her whilst jacking off because he’s a stupid fucking ugly predator beaver who deserves no rights and should be burned at the stake. reenaofpashadunes played the pornhub theme tune on her flute kiko looked at the people in front of her. she already knew who they were because they’re the biggest fucking skanks in the entire fandom: val, meqan and melia.  
“what am i doing here?” she asked.  
“we are here to punish u for ur war crimes.” melia said.  
“huh????? what have i done?????” kiko questioned, panicked.  
“you are guilty as FUCK.” meqan said, “for sleeping with an engaged woman, transphobia, and being a trump supporter.”  
kiko sighed. at least they didn’t know about the mass genocide she committed when she was 11. or when she went on a cannibalism streak in their first year.  
“yeah guilty seems more fun.” val said in response to meqan.  
“we shall decide your punishment. let us discuss.” anadildo said to kinkhoe.  
they discussed  
“your hair shall be used as rafal’s cumrag in hell idk.” val said.  
“and u have to pick old lube out of horts pubes wiv ur teeth for the rest of eternity.” evie chipped in from the piss covered stripper pole. kiko was going to cry. this was the best day of her life. she went to brush her teeth and wash her hair, preparing for her new life in eternal bliss.

♥*♡∞:｡.｡🎀 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑒𝓃𝒹 𝓊𝓌𝓊 🎀 ｡.｡:∞♡*♥

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> komd is back by popular demand aka val wouldn’t get off my ass about it so yuh i’m sorry if it’s unfunny just pretend it is to make me feel better😍😍

**Author's Note:**

> 👁👄👁 i hope you enjoyed luvs! xx i put loads of effort in as you can tell


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